Ay-ay-ron? No Ay-ay-ron, huh? You better be sick, dead or wearing this shirt, Ay-ay-ron! Mr Garvey, the substitute is taking roll and he’s in no mood to play with insubordinate and churlish kids. Ba-la-kay and Dee-nice have already tested his patience. Don’t even think about messing with him. If you’re feelin’ this Aaron’s Rental mashup design, you should order quickly before Mr. Garvey sends you down to Oh-Shag-Hennessy’s office!
Have you checked your shitters lately? They might be full. Lucky the sewer is close by. You can just #emptythechemicaltoilet in there. How convenient!
Clark’s a hospitable guy. He’s taking the surprise arrival of Ellen’s relatives in stride. But he’s only human. And Eddie would test the patience of even the best of people. So he can’t help it if he lets slide a little quip here in there at the expense of him. It’s all in good fun. Now, let’s have some eggnog!
How’s your production numbers? You don’t want to be a lousy toymaker and disappoint the head elf…or Santa himself. Don’t be a Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins. These etch-a-sketches aren’t going to build themselves. After all, you really don’t want to be on jack-in-the-box duty.
Buddy has the entire day planned with his dad. Channeling his inner elf, his to-do list is chock-full with fun, father and son activities! He’s got the agenda spelled out on his etch a sketch…snow angels, ice skating, cookie dough, and snuggling…great bond-building amusement!
His dad taught him everything he knows about exterior illumination. “Check every bulb!” is his motto. If you need your house lit up like the Christmas Star…or the light on the sewage treatment plant, then Clark’s your man. Griswold’s uses nothing but the finest imported Italian twinkle lights. You’ll be the envy of the neighborhood! Trust the best. Trust Griswold’s!
Is that Ice Ice Baby I hear? I hope you like to kick it because Prestige Worldwide, the first word in entertainment, is here with their first music act, Huff & Doback. Rock your next wine mixer “to the extreme” with these sweet threads!
Get it while you’re young, baby! Who doesn’t love those loveable old gals from Miami? Embrace your inner Sophia, and soon you’ll be saying, “Picture it, Sicily, 1922!” Stay Golden!
There’s no place quite like Amity Island!
Where you can have fun on the sandy beach, wind surf with some dolphins, have your arm gnawed off by a blood thirsty shark, and other exciting things.
Encounter one of nature’s most dangerous animals and enjoy an adrenaline-filled day of pants-crapping terror together with the ones you love.
When you think about it, there is no place like Amity Island. So come to Amity Island and get too close for comfort!
Wouldn’t you like to get away? Beers! Beers can get you there. Whether your name is Norm, Cliff or Carla, it doesn’t matter. You’re all welcome. Where everybody knows your name? So, saddle up to the bar. Pour a glass of your favorite brew, and let’s get this party started!